You will never believe what happened to me on Monday the 21st. It's like 7:00 a.m. and I was resting after a long night of marathon training when my world changed. All the sudden the walls were closing in and I was feeling more and more claustrophobic. Over the next 10 hours it got worse as I was squeezed like the last 3 drops in a toothpaste tube. It was like trying to put on a hat that was 8 sizes too small. I don't know where I was trying to be sent, all I know is that there was no way I was going to go there. I kept waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, but instead, at around 6:27, the wall opened and these hands came and pulled me out.
Suddenly I'm cold, and things are being pushed up my nose, mouth, and other places that I didn't even know I had. Luckily after a few minutes, I was wrapped up and finally warm again and was given to who I can only assume is the Supreme Master of the Universe or "Dad". He held me and as I basked in his greatness, I noticed this poor women laying on a table with her insides hanging out. Now I know I'm a baby, but finding out that you were living inside someone's stomach is a little creepy. After they sewed her up she picked me up and I decided maybe she wasn't so bad. Later on I realized not only is she really nice but she tastes great and is less filling. So anyway the move is over although I don't plan on moving like that again. Next time I'll just rent a U-Haul like everyone else. Many of you have requested pictures of me and after seeing myself I understand why. Here is a couple to hold you over till my next post.
I'm going to sleep now but will hopefully be able to address more important issues in my next post such as how China's pegging of their currency to the dollar ensures a trade deficit for America, and right breast left breast-is there a difference? Goodnight and good luck.
Logan Myles Ragland the Great
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